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There’s nothing like the big city. When you’re young and single and carefree, the excitement of New York or Boston or Chicago or San Francisco is so mesmerizing it makes you say, "Why, Why, WHY would ANYONE EVER (voluntarily) move to the Suburbs!??! But then your 20s turn into your 30s, and more and more of your friends start mating, reproducing, and disappearing off to places with strange names like “Schaumburg” or “Naperville” or “Livermore” or “New Jersey” -- never to be heard from again.
But not you! You will proudly wear our I’LL NEVER MOVE TO THE SUBURBS T-Shirt. This tee is the perfect way to show you love the urban lifestyle, and you vomit at the smell of fresh-cut grass. This shirt also makes a perfect “farewell” gift for any of your soon-to-be former friends as they make their way past the city limits and out of your life forever.
Mr. Festa says, “I fell in love with living in the City the first day I got sent to work in Chicago. A million things to do every weekend! A bar on every corner! Drink all you want and just walk or take a taxi anywhere! Cubs Games! The Lake! Why would anyone want to leave?!”
Snark Level: 7
About This Garment: This is the quintessential t-shirt designed for style, comfort, and versatility, the perfect tshirt for any occasion, whether you’re going for a casual day out, hitting the gym, or lounging at home. This tee combines classic aesthetics with superior comfort, making it a go-to choice for everyday wear. Crafted from premium materials, this vintage designed tee shirt offers a soft, breathable feel with a traditional crew neckline that pairs effortlessly with jeans, shorts, or whatever else is in your closet!
